


your touch, my comfort

by starryjeon



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Confessions, Cuddles, Fluff, Just a short little thing, M/M, hope it makes u smile, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 19:46:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21984121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryjeon/pseuds/starryjeon
Summary: Jeno has never been love-struck before.alternatively: renjun wants jeno to be closer.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno
Comments: 8
Kudos: 112





	your touch, my comfort

**Author's Note:**

> this fic has been translated to [russian](https://ficbook.net/readfic/8969811) and [vietnamese](https://www.wattpad.com/story/233825752-trans-noren-your-touch-my-comfort?fbclid=IwAR3VxLt41I4H0YP56hk-T4nhRDPtDdhqAmYR5u2cKqtPsbMdJw3X3thu4Hg) ♡

Jeno's neck is a bit sore from sleeping on the couch the night before. He can't bring himself to be annoyed, though, because no matter how many inconveniences come along with sleeping on any place other than a bed, if he gets to cuddle then it's fine. 

Last night was his and Jaemin's final day of exams and they celebrated it by getting mildly drunk, eating 3 boxes of pizza and watching 2 and a half episodes of one of Jaemin’s favorite animes before they passed out on the couch. Of course they cuddled. Come morning, Jeno is pleasantly well rested, albeit the soreness that hits when he moves this way or that, it’s worth it.

It's a bit late when he gets home, after work and an hour of hitting the gym, he's just ready to fall asleep. (He's not _pouting_ , per se, but there's a definite downturn of his lips when he realizes he'll sleep alone tonight, just his pillow to hug.) 

"Honey, I'm home!" Jeno calls out joyously as he takes off his shoes and coat, sniffling the air that smells like recently cooked ramyeon, which makes his mood lift up a bit. 

"Hi sweaty, before you shower keep 5ft of distance please." Renjun greets him by the kitchen, sneaking out from the arms that were about to hold him. 

“You're no fun." Jeno pouts. 

"And I'm also freshly showered and clean, you can't relate." Renjun retaliates, laughing.

“Fine, I'll hug you later, then." 

“Yep," Renjun agrees distractedly as he chops some vegetables and sets Jeno off to take a shower. 

It comes to no one's surprise though, that right after hecomes out of the bathroom, freshly showered, Jeno falls onto his bed face first and makes zero attempts to get up. Luckily, Renjun apparently saw that coming, as he comes into Jeno’s room with two bowls of food and chopsticks in hand. 

"Get up, I brought dinner." 

“My hero.” He smiles up at Renjun, sees a pinkish tinge on his cheeks- probably from being near the heat while cooking. 

“Is your neck okay?" Renjun’s voice takes him back to reality after some minutes of slurping and eating in otherwise a peaceful silence. 

"It's okay now, how did you know it hurt?" 

Renjun snorts. "I woke up earlier and saw you and Jaemin sleeping on the couch. Resting your head on the arm rest with no pillow is the perfect recipe for a sore neck." 

“Oh,” Jeno laughs, stretching his neck as to check its current state. It didn't hurt anymore, just a faint soreness that was fairly bearable. “Why didn't you wake me up, then." 

Renjun puts the empty bowl on the side table. “Nah, I knew you guys needed that sleep," he goes to the bathroom. “Besides, you two looked way too comfortable." 

“We were!" Jeno joins him at the bathroom, brushing their teeth together in the small space. “Sore neck aside, Jaemin is too comfortable to sleep with." 

Renjun just hums, shoving him playfully when they knock elbows. Then it escalates (as always) and Jeno pushes him out of the way to wash his face first, but Renjun sneaks in and throws water at him, throwing arms and curses as Jeno laugh rings through the walls. Just mature adult things. 

Jeno takes the bowls and washes them as a payment for wetting Renjun’s shirt completely damp during their bickering, and ~~sprints~~ goes calmly to the kitchen to avoid Renjun’s tiny but powerful fists throwing punches at him. 

When he returns to his room, though, he's pleasantly surprised to be met by Renjun’s small silhouette sitting crossed legged on his bed, his silvery hair a soft mess. 

"Is... is that my shirt?" Jeno has a tiny problem with breathing right now. But it’s okay. He can take it. 

Renjun looks down at the big shirt he's put on, the neck too wide and sliding down his golden narrow shoulders. “Oh," he says bashful. “Yeah, what about it." He takes on a casual tone, disinterested. 

To anyone else, he might sound like that. Jeno knows him better, he knows Renjun loves to wear his clothes sometimes, bigger and baggier. Makes him look and feel comfortably smaller. Knows Renjun loves that feeling.

“Nothing, I like you in my clothes." Jeno smiles, anticipating Renjun’s reaction.

“Shut _up,_ ” he groans, hiding himself under the covers and making himself a little nest in the middle of the bed. 

“Whatever, you look pretty." Jeno keeps going, just because he loves when Renjun gets flustered, which doesn't happen often. A kick on his shin makes him have mercy, though, because no matter how small and cute Renjun is when he gets flustered and just generally, he is one strong little man. 

Jeno scrolls through his social media for a while, liking some posts and trying to find the sleep that had gone past him after dinner. Renjun is quiet next to him, his head right next to his thigh, and Jeno thinks he's fallen asleep until he hears his voice. He locks his phone.

“Why aren't you-" the words are too muffled for him to figure out what it means. 

“What?" Jeno leans closer, breathing over Renjun's frame, face nuzzled into the pillow. 

Renjun takes a deep breath before repeating, a bit weaker this time. “Why aren't you like that with me?" 

“What. How do you mean?" 

Renjun squirms imperceptibly, a weak whine that Jeno almost misses. 

“You... you're so- so _touchy_ with everyone... except me. You cuddle Jaemin all the time but-" he huffs. “But never me." 

Jeno just- stares. Unblinking at Renjun's wide eyes that wait anxiously for a response. Jeno is simply speechless. 

“You aren't that into skin ship though, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable." 

"I do like skin ship," Renjun defends. "I like hugs and hand holding and cuddles sometimes..." he sounds a bit dejected as he fidgets with the ends of the blanket, avoiding eye contact again. 

“Oh."

"It's whatever. Just- forget it." Renjun turns away again, drawing the blanket over to cover his head, facing away from Jeno. 

“No, I-" Jeno starts, head absolutely empty. "I... I'm-" he's sure words weren't this hard to speak before, what the absolute- 

"Renjun" he takes a deep breath, blinking again after what felt like hours, brain finally coming home after its impromptu weekend getaway. "It's not- you..." 

Renjun huffs, his voice coming from under the covers. “Yeah, it’s not me, exactly." 

“No, wait! I mean, it's not... the same... with you." He cringes. There must be a curse upon him, there's just no explanation for the knot on his throat and the sweat on his palms after uttering half a sentence. 

He’s too busy overthinking all and every decision he's made so far that he kind of misses out on the fact that Renjun hasn't said a single word since he stopped talking. Which- he should have, by now. 

"Renjun-" 

“How is it different." 

It's kind of hard to tell how the other person is feeling when their voice is completely void of feelings and or emotions and their face is completely covered by a pastel blue blanket. It’s also kind of hard to answer to that question, period. Because he's right, _how is it different?_

Suddenly, Jeno is somewhat thankful he can't see Renjun face, otherwise saying what he’s about to say would be a lot more complicated. Maybe he' s just a coward. Or just a panicked gay. Whatever.

"I do hug Jaemin a lot, and cuddle him most of the time," there's a huff again. “And it's nice because he's just into skin ship as much as I am, and we've been friends for too long so I trust him just as much. But even so... it's not that I don't trust you, or don't feel comfortable with you; it's that... I'm very, very selfish," Jeno fights down the urge to run away, and stares resolutely and the small bundle under the blanket. “And no matter how small the gesture might be, I will always think about it as something greater. You might not know it, but you give the _best_ hugs in the world, I hold onto them a bit longer than normal sometimes. Your hands are abnormally soft, if I get to gold them I won't be able to let them go. And... gosh, if I ever cuddled you... I'm just very selfish, Renjunnie... I'm sorry." 

The sound that follows up takes all of Jeno's breath away and makes every cell in his body thrum in alert. There's a muffled sniff coming from the bundle in the middle of the bed. 

“What if you ever cuddled me?" comes the tinny voice just as Jeno takes off the blanket from hiding Renjun's face. 

Sometimes, when you do something you really enjoy, or have fun with the people you like the most, time seems to simultaneously stop and rush up all at once. Leaving you breathless and kind of empty once it's over. Right now, it's a bit like that; Jeno never really had the chance to know what it felt like to be love-struck, but he guesses this is probably it.

There's this feeling: everything around you turns into a blur, your focus in that one person only, and it's like the world stops turning just to accentuate the utmost importance of paying attention to them. Then there's this feeling: your heart beats a bit faster, you find it a bit hard to breathe for a fraction of a second before all air comes to your lungs as if you'd been neglected from it before. Like coming to the surface after being underwater for such a long time. Like relief. 

Then, it's the thoughts that fill your head: _I am so lucky to have them. I can't believe they're real. Thank you for existing, would you let me be next to you? Can I be with you a bit more time? Would you let me stay? Please let me stay._

And finally, realizing that it's real life, and that you are indeed lucky to have them, in whatever way it might be.

"I think I would find it very hard to let you go." 

Renjun eyes are glossy, holding galaxies inside, and looks at Jeno as if he had the answers to everything. 

“You absolute idiot, what makes you think I'd want you to let me go." 

And then there's the last feeling: hands (soft soft _soft_ ) that reach gently for his, and eyes locking together trying to figure out how to make each of their hearts to calm down, how to say the things they want to say, how to describe happiness and warmth and safety and comfort all at once. 

“Are you for real?"

Renjun snorts, eyes shining a bit more but not letting the tears scape. “Yeah, I'm for real, loser." 

“Shut up." 

“You brought this to yourself," he murmurs to himself. “Make me." he says, to Jeno.

To his credit, he was looking pretty cool and pretty until he swallowed the wrong way (is that a thing? maybe he's just stupid. And gay. And a bit in love) and his entire lung gets punctured by the three ribs he breaks as he chokes up quite possibly the most unattractive cough ever known to mankind. 

It's lit. Renjun is completely unfazed. 

It takes a minute but he manages to speak again, albeit hoarsely. “I _said_ , shut. _Up_." Jeno repeats.

Renjun smiles, apparently knowing exactly what effect he had on Jeno, the motherfucker. “And I said, _make me."_ he punctuates every word by coming inches closer every time, until his noses are barely apart. 

Jeno can listen to his own heartbeat thrumming in his ears, is pretty sure Renjun can hear it too, and his hands are a bit sweaty still holding on tightly to Renjun’s hands. On top of the rush, of the mushy and happy feelings, there's a slight drip of fear, enough to make uncertainty grow at the bottom of his stomach. Enough to make him ask, “Am I reading this right?" 

Renjun’s initially playful smile and hooded eyes soon shift into a gentler, reassuring face. His voice is soft as the entirety of him when he nods. “Yes, you are." 

It's nice knowing that, even if they both get insecure at times, one will always be there to reassure the other. There are no barriers and no codes for them to comfort each other, just honesty and trust. 

Jeno breathes out again, eyes turning into crescents. “Okay, then." and closes his eyes.

...  
...

"Jeno..."

“Yeah?"

“Weren't you supposed to shut me up?" 

“But I love your voice..."

"Jen."

“Yeah, okay, I'm just- preparing myself." 

“What the- I've _been_ waiti-"

So he shuts him up. His lips find home in Renjun’s soft, plump ones, meeting each other for the first time. There's simply blank noise in his head, a constant mantra of _RenjunRenjunRenjunRenjun_ in his mind that makes him realize holy fuck this _is_ happening. They separate briefly before reconnecting again, a bit more comfortably, like coming _back_ home. Jeno parts his lips first, moving gently along Renjun's eager mouth, slowly at first, to find a rithym, just learning each other. 

Despite having regretfully dreamed about it in past occasions, daydreaming about how it might be if it ever happened, kissing Renjun is absolutely beyond any and all expectations. Starting by the fact that it's real, there's the amazing astonishingly fact that apparently he likes Jeno back. Renjun kisses like he doesn't ever want to leave, like he, too, has been waiting for this moment for too long. There's a smile in the middle of their kiss, Jeno isn't sure who did it first, but then they're both smiling too big into the kiss, accidentally making it a bit more messier. 

Renjun throws himself at Jeno as he breaks the kiss, holding onto him with all his might, pressing his face against Jeno’s neck. 

Jeno wraps his arms around Renjun’s frame, drawing him in, melting himself into Renjun’s smaller body. Their hearts beat against the other, trying to connect themselves. There's a final feeling that comes to him, as he caresses Renjun’s back with one of his hands, the other holding him close. 

_Ease_. He feels relieved, happy, content. It’s all coming down to him, and he feels at ease. 

Renjun lifts his head, looks him in the eye and there's no way he can't hide the smile that adorns his beautiful face. "Hey... I L word you very much." 

Jeno laughs, butterflies dancing inside his belly. “You know that leaves out two possibilities, right." 

“Of course, I meant 'lizard', obviously." 

Jeno rolls his eyes, refusing to hide his absolute lovestruck smile. “Duh, no way you were going to say 'like'. " 

Renjun poses his hand on Jeno’s temple, caressing tenderly as a faint pink dusts his cheeks. "I wasn't." 

It would be very anticlimactic if he choked with spit again, so Jeno prevents from swallowing or even breathing too hard one more time. “Then what?" he whispers, knowing the answer but happily terrified all along. 

Renjun’s thumb caresses his cheekbone, traces down to his cheek for his hand to frame his jawline. "It's not too soon?" 

“Don't know about you, but it's not soon for me. Either way, no one else but us can dictate our own time." 

Jeno knows Renjun too well, but that doesn't mean Renjun isn't unpredictable most of the time. He looks like someone who never regrets his choices. He carries himself with grace and built, can look intimidating anytime he wants, and is brave in every sense of the word. Despite all this, Jeno knows that Renjun is more than what meets the eye. Knows that Renjun sometimes needs a break from everything, from talking, from interacting with people, from life. He knows that Renjun likes the quiet as much as he can be loud. Knows that he struggles to say what comes to his mind because he's still learning how to deal with emotions and new encountered feelings. To so many people Renjun may look like the easiest person to read, for his emotions show clearly on his face. The case, however, is a completely different story. 

He’s glad Renjun allowed him to know more than what he lets most people see. He came to realize people aren't meant to be read, but understood. Jeno might never get to know him entirely, as he isn't Renjun, and as much as Renjun knows about Jeno, no one will really know about another person if not themselves. It’s a good thing, though. Getting the chance to know someone, and allowing yourself to be known as well.

It's why Jeno presses his hand against Renjun’s to hold it into place, and summons all of the sincerity he has in him, to let Renjun know that he's safe. It’s why after a minute of Renjun not responding back, Jeno talks again, “Me too." 

Renjun parts his lips, then closes them again, then gapes a bit, flustered. He sighs relieved, and it settles Jeno's heart. 

“A lot, Jen." He affirms.

“Now I know," Jeno kisses his cheek. “Thank you." 

“Loser." Renjun laughs, shying away from Jeno's now playful kisses. 

“Will you admit you've been jealous all this time?" 

“What- hey! that's not fair." Renjun squirms. “You're threatening me right now." 

"I am not." He hides his smile kissing along Renjun's neck.

“You _a-are_! I can feel your hands on my sides and you're about to tickle me."

“But I won't if you respond." 

“Sir, that's a threat." 

“Ooh, sir, kinky." 

Renjun twists his ear. 

_“Ow."_

"It's what you get, bitch." 

“Ooh, kin- AAAAAH stop!" 

"Idiot. Why do I even like you." 

Jeno musters his most endearing eye-smile. 

“Okay, fair." Renjun pretends to give up, and throws himself back into the bed, patting it for Jeno to lay next to him.

“So, gonna answer me or what." 

“What." 

“ _Brat_ , tell me." 

Renjun’s shit eating grin diminishes into a pout. But Jeno's stance doesn't shift. 

“Fine. Yes, I was jealous." 

"I knew it." Jeno's grin is too self satisfied.

Renjun is not amused. “Then why the hell did you ask." 

"I wanted to hear you say it, lol."

“Fuck you, I forgot you said _lol_ out loud." 

“You do it, too!" 

“Yeah, because you rubbed it off me, loser." 

“Well fuck I see only one solution."

"And that is?"

“Come kiss me, you brat." 

"That doesn't even make sense!" 

"So... no?"

"Of course I will, come here." 

Yeah. Young love is lit. 

(Safe to say, they cuddle a lot after that.)

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! pls feel free to reach out if u want :D I also accept prompts and suggestions you'd like me to write [cc](https://curiouscat.me/tenkooks)


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